Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Planetary quirks

Hello Professor Klontoof, how is the professing going? It is quite a slow day here at work and my boss went home sick. Are you ready for your trip to San Diego? When does the Del Mar Fair start? I think that it's in mid-June or something like that. I DO KNOW that it's on earth AND takes place during earth summer.

You think that the Southern Hemisphere has opposite seasons compared to the Northern Hemisphere? Well then, you should check out the absurdness on different planets! In one of the nine seasons on Pluto, the roles of nature are reversed, the trees of the forest chase the inhabitants and make canoes, tools and jewelry out of them; in all fairness they have a lot of pent up rage building during the eight season lull. On Jupiter, during the pleNteN months (it's like an earth autumn+spring, but with more chrome) the females take on the persona of men. What does this mean? Well, all things manly...not a whole lot of foreplay, opened doors or thank-you cards. Although, the lawns have never looked better and all the road maps are folded along the original crease lines. And finally, there are the humid months on Uranus, and frankly, the less said about this the better.

Well I have spoken about the unusual behavior of Pluto's forests, the Del Mar Fair and Uranus. I think that this is a good stopping point.

Space Cadet #4873569,
Lord "Get a Buckled Boot in Yo' Ass" Pilgrim

P.S. Please do not think that, “pleNteN” was a typo, that’s just how they do it on Jupiter. I know they’re such children.