Black pants, why o' why did I wear black pants? It’s so hot today, like a

swamp’s ass. My balls are hot too, magma hot - but slightly redder, and

angry. Imagine a red pistachio, but matzahsize it by a factor of 6. I know I

shouldn't be crying about warm weather in the middle of January but I can, I

live in San Diego, we invented “Trivial Shit Crying”, it's going to be an

Olympic sport in 2012. Also, I can cry about my hot balls, they're

mine, I keep up the maintenance - I bought the extended warranty, I wash

and wax them, they're my babies (pun definitely intended).

So, I've got big red silly beans and I live in the nicest city in the world. Well

that's not fair, I've heard great things about Havesextillyoudiesylvania

and Hotsluttsachussetts has wonderful summers; both cities have equally

majestic postcards - imagine Unicorns and .40 ammo but with more drunken

sex. Uh-oh phone ringing…my boss, gotta go, something about quality control

with the blood bank.

Get busy livin’

Pilgrim